Category: good bye

Dogs Never Die

Dogs Never Die

This post is for all of us who have lost a beloved four-legged partner. It was sent to me many moons ago when my dear Delphi passed away. It made me cry, yes but made me realize she and all the others will always be in my heart and I will always find room for more. I have in turn passed this on to friends after the loss of their dog. It is beautiful. We must remember that Dogs Never Die, they simply do not know how.

It was written by Ernest Montague and he says – I wrote this several years ago in memory of Bolo, a black and white Pit Bull who would always go for a walk, right up to the day he died. He might only get 15 feet before he stopped and looked at me and gave me the look: ‘I can’t go any further. But don’t you think for one minute I’m done walking’.

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to ‘death’, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.
Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say: ‘No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.’ Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone (exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging its tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: ‘Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.’

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not ‘dead.’ There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.”

2020, year of change and a sad goodbye

2020, year of change and a sad goodbye

2020. The year when the world changed.

Living in Tepoztlan, Mexico gave me a rather unique view of what was unraveling around the world. Tucked in a valley only 2 hours south of Mexico City reading and watching what was transpiring because of COVID seemed surreal. Countries were in lock down. Flights were cancelled. Masks became mandatory. Vaccinations were recommended by health authorities. Businesses were forced to close. Life would never be the same. We seemed relatively untouched by this pandemic that the world now faced. It should be noted that Mexico never closed it’s border to visitors, the doors were always open if you could find a way here due to cancellations by the airlines. Slowly the number of deaths associated with the virus were on the rise in Mexico. Do not misunderstand me here, I am sad for many people who lost their loved ones but the forced restrictions which forever changed many people lives should never have happened.

I was due to depart from Mexico in March as my 180 day visa would expire but was unable due to absolutely zero flights to Canada. And even crazier entry rules into Canada which were INSANE. I had to be vaccinated even before considering booking any flight when they became available. One needs to ask if all the restrictions, the collapsing of day to day life had any real affect on stopping the virus. For example: the 3-foot rule – stand at least 3 feet from any person in public. Well that’s great. Line up to get on your flight with your mask on. Then you are loaded into a metal tube and are seated beside a complete stranger. One must keep a mask on during flight BUT you can remove it to eat or drink?! In hindsight, I would say no it did not. Yes the vaccinations prevented many people from succumbing to the virus but it also as reports are now being written did more harm than good to many people. If I could turn the clock back, I would not have taken the vaccine. I would hunker down, brave the storm and perhaps live forever in Mexico. Both my roommate and I became sick – a 24/48 really bad flu. Was it COVID? Yes we think it was although we were never tested. BUT, I cannot turn the clock back, so I had to do what was demanded so I could travel.

Life continued in Tepoztlan. Because of the climate in Mexico, many restaurants are outside with less restrictions so it made it easier to meet up with friends for a weekly catch-up. Never while facing this pandemic did I feel threatened. Some friends were more cautious than others but we never stopped livin’ the dream. One cannot live in fear but many did. Literally a total fuck-up.

That said for the next nine months until I could fly again, I became engrossed in my garden. I wanted to cover as much as possible with local plants that have proven to survive the climate here. My roommate was amazed at the transformation and gladly brought home all sorts of succulents for me to plant. Teaching the dogs to stay out of the newly planted garden though was a challenge. Seven knew better as he had a few years with me in Ontario and learned not to touch mum’s garden. The others knew it was a big no-no to dig but they just could not help themselves. One would think with almost an acre of land there would be plenty of places to dig but no, they had to help mum. With perseverance and determination though my garden started to take shape. Stella did have her favourite place to lay and I could not stop that. Perhaps she was making sure no critters would get beyond her ever watchful eye and enter the house!

Spot moved to Helen’s house in late January. Poor Helen. Helen is a cat lady although she loved her dog who recently passed, it had been awhile since she had a puppy so this was a whole new game for her. Spot was happy. Helen’s cats not so much. She gave it her best, but Spot did come back to the roost, more on that later.

spot – where am i now?

Zero and Six were easily settling into the routine at Ixcatapec. Stella loved the fact she had dogs her size to play with and play they did. Border collies traditionally and normally do not “play” with other dogs. They will tolerate their existence but they really are loners. My beautiful Delphi & Devon grew up together and enjoyed each other but never played together like you see a lot of dogs do. Seven is no different. He is tolerant with all the dogs but never plays with them, except when Stella first arrived. He had his own thing going, his frisbee. That did not stop Six trying though. They have their moments and all the dogs know that if Seven speaks, he means business. He hardly ever barks but when he does, all of us are on high alert.

Eight was never really happy about the puppies. In fact I would say she disliked them immensely. Eight was a Belgian Shepherd and a beautiful one with a wonderful personality. Sadly we started to see a decline in Eight’s health. She was eating just fine but her weight loss was very concerning. There was a mass on her head that appeared to be getting larger. Fabian called the vet, it was time. Jose came to the house to examine her (I love my Mexican vets) and the last thing he wanted to do was to euthanize her. But upon seeing her, it was the only choice. Fabian was distraught. He had saved her from an awful situation and now had to face her passing. Eight fought hard and clung to life as long as she could but finally her body was in no more pain. All the dogs after she passed came to say good bye. Here is the video of their good-bye. Now you tell me that dogs don’t have emotions? I say you are a liar and have no idea. We buried her in the garden with enough for her to present herself to the gods. Eight you were a beauty and I am glad that I was able to spend time with you while you were here. Run free now forever.

beautiful eight
saying good bye to eight
JUNE 2018

JUNE 2018

The only person to blame for the lack of continuing to move forward with The Journey is me. I could give multiple reasons but what’s the point? Yes we have been busy, very busy but that is no excuse. For now I will add month by month or multiple months at a time till we are up to-date. Yikes, which ever way I do this, it is a lot of writing to do. Seven says yep mum you have been slacking big time. There is so much to add, so many changes. New friends, old friends, joys and sadness which are all part of our journey.

June 2018, we said goodbye to some furry friends which are never easy.

saying goodbye is never easy

Even a delightful furry moth settled in for a few days to say goodbye.

It is said that changes are good. I have never had so many home changes in such a short period of time and I begin to question that. But we move forward, Seven, Stella and I bracing the changes that are about to unfold.

Of course there have been many updates on this platform, so once again I am on a learning curve. I hope that you will enjoy the Journey, it’s quite the roller coaster ride.

Last Day on the Road

Last Day on the Road

I so did not want to leave San Miguel but we must move forward. This is our last day on the road – for now.  Leaving Holt, Ontario many things crossed my mind. First what a crazy thing to do! Second, what the hell am I doing. Third and possibly the most important, I was following my dream. I feel that most people never ever thought that I would actually do it. How many women or men pack up and head out to a new life at 68? I too had my doubts whether I would grab that bull by the horn and actually go through with everything. Was I all talk and no action? Guess I was fool enough, strong enough, head strong enough, so why the hell not! In retrospect I wish I had taken longer to make the journey, taken the time to explore while I was travelling. But alas that also would have required more money which I did not have. Maybe next time.

The last leg of my journey was a sticky one for me. From San Miguel de Allende to my destination meant driving right through Mexico City. That I did not want to do. Not a chance. With my pigeon Spanish and trying to traverse through one of the most populated cities in the world it was not happening. What to do? I contacted a small tour company from San Miguel called Safe Trips SMA. Mara was supreme. The day before I sent her pictures of all the documents she needed. Mara was driving, Seven and I were passengers. What a joy that was going to be. The time was set for 8AM. I was awake way before that making sure I had everything in order and a couple of good cups of coffee. Mara was right on time. We loaded the few bags I had, put Seven in the car, said our good-byes to Hamish and paradise. And we were off.

Mara is Mexican and has countless years experience driving in Mexico and the US. But at the same time I was nervous. I have only driven this car for just over a week and to me it was like a damn truck compared to the Jeep I had driven for 17 years. But Mara climbed in and started driving it like she had owned it for years. I was unaware it was a holiday weekend in Mexico. Pretty hard to keep up with in Mexico because they have so many! Lucky for us because the highways were relatively quiet. Mara told me that usually driving through the city can take hours but we were sailing through. Coming closer to Mexico City she asked me what year the car is and the last number on my license plate. Kind of an odd question. I told her and she looked at me saying, really? All the information that I had read prior to the trip I cannot for the life of me remember reading anything about this. In Mexico City they are very adamant about keeping older cars off the road. And you must pay attention to the last number. My number was up. We were not supposed to be on the road. Holy Shit. If caught the car would be impounded, Mara could lose her license and I would be up shit’s creek with a bill that I could not afford. We purchased a pass for the over-pass. There was hardly any traffic and we booted it. Once safely out of the boundaries of Mexico City we did a high-five and fumbled through our bags to light a cigarette. Tense? Just a tad.

We are almost there. The road out of Mexico City to our destination is a highway that runs through the mountains. The highway gave us glimpses of the most active volcano in Mexico

Popocatépetl

Popocatépetl which has been more active since the devastating earth quake in September of this year.

Not far now. My friend Maria is meeting us at the only gas station in town to guide us to my new home. We made such good time everyone was amazed. Mara had places to go, people to see so there I was parked waiting for Maria. The clock was ticking. Maria was thinking the same, where are they. Finally we connect. She is at the other end of the station. It has been a year since I have seen her. We are both pretty speechless. I am in a daze.

Now it is time to follow Maria to the house. The brakes are squeaking. The road is bumpy. I have absolutely no idea where I am going. We arrive. Time to meet the landlady. Seven is sniffing every bush and we quickly make it to the front door. I am immediately told that I need to get water, I need to get gas. I am shown a room upstairs which has just been built. It is lovely. But I am told if I want it, it is and extra $1500 pesos a month. Whoa wait a second. You do realize that I have driven for the last 9 days I can’t take all this in right now.

Maria asks if I would like to get something to eat. Damn right, haven’t had a thing all day. I lock the door and get in her car. I have no idea where I am but I buy something to eat, buy some coffee and some things that I feel I will need. I had no idea. The plan was to wait for Maria to return but I needed to get back to the house. Order a taxi I am told. I did just that and guess what, we got lost. Just great. Luckily I was able to get Maria on her phone and she guided the driver to my house. I pay the driver and there is Seven in the yard. I forgot to shut the back door, thank god I shut the gate.

I spent the next couple of hours unloading the car and dragging everything to the house. There was no need really but this was it. We made it Seven.

Journey’s end. Tepoztlan, Morelos, Mexico.

home

we made it

Leaving Day

Leaving Day

The day finally arrived. The day to head out. The day to leave what I called home for 18 years. I didn’t cry. I couldn’t. I had to look forward not back. One last look of the road, Mill Road, Holt, East Gwillimbury. Seven and I will miss you.

mill road

The night before I hardly slept. I had a long journey ahead and it was something that I had never done before. I was as nervous as hell. I hate highways and here I was about to embark on a 4500km road trip. Crazy. Absolutely insane. Finally when Seven saw his bed, toys and food bowls, he knew he was coming too. One last look. One last phone call. Door locked. Shaking like a leaf, I buckled up, started the car and made that one last drive up the hill. Holy shit Steph what have you done?

As I said I hate highways so I flatly refused to take the 401 to Sarnia. Thought I would take it easy for the first few hours. All was good until construction around Stratford, Ontario. In Ontario and most of Canada there are two seasons on the road – construction or snow.  A mere 2 hours into my trip I am lost. Great start. And it won’t be the last time as you will see. Back on track and here I am on the 401, the road I did not want to be on. Have to make up time now, so the highway was the only answer. Amazingly the road was not busy then the bridge to the USA and traffic came to a halt, I had heard stories of line-ups for hours. This was a breeze and only took half an hour to get to the check point.

Passport, papers for the dog. Did I have it all? Yes of course. When travelling solo, you check and recheck and check again. US customs. Where you headed miss he asks while looking at my passport and the interior of the car. Mexico, I say. I see you have a dog, can you open the door please ma’am. Here a lump came in my throat as Seven does not fair well with strangers as I told you. Seven looked at him and froze. He closed the door. Do you have dog food? Yes. May I see it. Well that was kind of awkward but I dragged his bag of food for mr. customs officer to look at. What’s in it? Shit man it’s dog food I felt like saying. I said I think it’s made in the US and he says well it’s got French on the package so I doubt it. It has lamb in it. That is not allowed. Oh great I am thinking. Make sure you leave none in the US, take it all to Mexico. Seriously dude? And with that we were now in the US and motoring to our first stop at the Red Roof Inn Coldwater, Michigan.

into the USA

By the time we arrived at the hotel after getting lost again exhausted and starving. Seven was also totally confused.  Ordered pizza, turned on the TV, took Seven for a pee and tried to settle down for a good nights sleep. This was a whole new thing for Seven and I, being on a leash. Try telling a dog who has had free roam of 200 acres to suddenly be told hey it’s pee time, lets go. He was not amused.

The end of day one.

Saying Good-Bye

Saying Good-Bye

Saying good-bye is always hard. But I feel it is never good-bye, more like hasta pronto – see you soon. The word(s) good-bye are far too final. Saying good-bye was really difficult. That was what it was like for Seven and I, difficult.  For me it was saying good-bye to a place I called home for 18 years. That’s a long time. That house was my nest. I felt comfortable, perhaps too much, perhaps I had become too complacent and it was time to move on. For Seven, I don’t know. That house was all he knew. He knew every corner, every tree, every bush, every smell. As shown in my last post he had his circle. It was his domain. But he had me and that’s all that mattered. As long as he was with me, he was home, minus the smells and circle of course.

We spent many days tripping around. Visiting friends, visiting those old trails. I knew it was a good-bye, a hasta pronto. did Seven? Perhaps because our home was not what he accustomed to. A tad more chaotic than usual. He knew something was up, but what?

Part of me did not want to leave. I did not want to leave that comfortable little bubble I had created over the last two decades. Leaving my best friends, my stronghold. It was scary. Perhaps Seven read my fears. I am sure he did. But we were one and we were going to do this together no matter how confusing it was for him and I. Think about it, how many people do you know have sold, thrown away, packed up and left their bubble at 68? Not many I bet. Call me crazy, call me brave but it was time. It was time to say good-bye, hasta pronto, time to burst that bubble and seek out a new life.

There were tears and big ones in private. There were many hugs. There was caution and there was help. I cannot thank my friends and my mum enough for giving me the confidence to do it. Shit how could I back out now? I was left with a few boxes, I would have nowhere to live. It was time to take that bull by the horn and do it!

Seven had no idea where we were going. Did I? Yes I had a place to go but that is a name on a map. A destination is another thing altogether. And that destination is something that Seven and I will find together.

the bubble for 18 years

hasta pronto Devon and Delphi