Tag: mum

too many exits

too many exits

This is about the leaving and coming back home to Mexico.

The visitors/tourist visa for Mexico is vague. One is not automatically given a visa stamp of 180 days (6 months) but it is relatively normal. As you may have read I did have a rather crazy experience which you can read here. Basically you get a visa for 180 days and then you must leave. There is not a set number of days you must be out of Mexico for re-entry but most expats who do this leave for a few days, a week or two and then get another 180 days upon return. It is a likely a person of my age be questioned and possibly not allowed to enter? Unlikely. But it has happened. So consequently every time I have to leave Mexico, I am stressed. It is now June 2019 and I am leaving my piece of paradise again. Now wait a bloody minute. It is only necessary to exit once every 6 months. This trip in june 2019 is my FOURTH since september 2018. No wonder I am stressed. And I leave again in october. That will make it FIVE exits in one year. Don’t get me wrong, it is lovely to see my friends and family but I did not sign up for this!

I will combine my two exits now. And hopefully this will go back to how it is manageable, once every 180 days. One can dream, right?

The reason for my exit in june was to see my mum obviously, deal with tax shit but mainly to see Vicky, my cousin from the UK who was visiting Toronto with her hubby and daughter. I had not seen her for years and did not want to miss this opportunity. Also combined seeing friends and family. So much to do in such a short time. What was good now though is that I had a roommate who loved the space, my little piece of paradise and loved all the dogs. That said, Fabian too was stressed. He works long hours and now he had 4 dogs, a cat and a house to take care of while I was gone. Welcome to the world of responsibility. Don’t think it was what he signed up for taking a room in my little paradise. But he handled it like a champ and damn was really happy to see me when I returned. As were all the dogs, Seven, Stella, Siete and Eight. I was exhausted when I got home but so happy to be there in my little piece of paradise. I know I keep saying that but seriously it really was.

The next exit in october was a sad one. Mum was getting up there having just turned 96 in march and the time had come for her to no longer live by herself. After almost 40 years of living in this one apartment building, she was packing up and moving to an assisted living space. I have rarely seen my mum cry. That day she did and it broke my heart. She was loosing her independence, something that she had mastered after all that she had been through. It was traumatic for me but nothing like it was for my mum. It is difficult to put on a happy face but damn it I tried as best as I could. Writing this now brings tears. Little did I know it would be a year before I saw her again.

Before I left for Mexico in 2017 I had asked my Mum to move in with me. I had ample room in my house and I was only working part-time. I felt I could be good company for her and she would have the company of my 3 cats and Seven when I was not there. But mum is a city girl and moving to my space in the country was definitely not in her thoughts. She refused. There was no point in trying to persuade her. Her answer was a flat NO. We talked about this when she moved from her home into an assisted living space and of course she now regretted not taking my request seriously. The journey would have been different but it was never to be.

Upon my return, Seven, Stella, Siete, Eight, my roommate and of course myself were extremely happy to be home. When I first moved to Mexico, I thought exiting the country to renew my visa would be a piece of cake. 2019 was not like that at all. Now was the time to relax, to live again in my piece of paradise.